She said.....

Recently I ventured out for what seemed to be an uneventful trip to the grocery store.  Oddly, Spencer had begged me to take Elliott along with me.  What he doesn't seem to get is that life is leaps and bounds easier at the store without the car seat in the buggy, blocking your view or taking in the stroller and carrying a basket and pushing the stroller.  You are praying throughout the entire time that the baby doesn't A. Decide to have a massive poop or spit up all over herself in the middle of Ukropts or B. Decide to scream bloody murder and then everyone stares.  As of late I have been putting her in the Baby Bjourn on my chest and walking around.  The only problem with this is that she is finding her hands and likes to pull and grab items off the shelves.  So since Spencer was home and the baby was fed, I found this the perfect opportunity to dash to the store by myself without the hassle and fear.  

I was only gone 30 minutes I tell you, thirty minutes!  When I walked back into my house Spencer came straight up to me with his hands on his hips and staring daggers at me.  All he said was "I'm outta here.  I'm really outta here.  I'm leaving!"  "What?!" I cried, confused.  Leaving me?  Leaving us?  "I have had it with your daughter."  Now those of you with children or pets know that when they are bad they are always the other person's responsibility.  Clearly, now Elliott was all mine.  "What happened?" I inquired, knowing this had to be good.  What could a 16-week old possibly do to cause my husband to run for the hills.

"She was sitting on my lap playing and then all of a sudden she took a massive poop.  I'm talking massive.  So I get up to change her in the bassinet and the poop was everywhere.  It was like she wasn't even wearing a diaper."  Keep in mind that Spencer is really freaking out as he's telling me and really mad.  "So she soiled everything she was wearing and then kicked her feet into it so she literally kicked poop everywhere.  All over me, the bassinet, the walls!  And then I looked down!  I had poop all over my pants!"  At this point I am laughing so hard that I am tearing.  He continued, "So I strip down to my boxers upstairs, put Elliott in the tub and gave her a bath."  I am hysterical..."You are both naked at this point?!" I ask between laughs.  "It's not funny but yes.  So I put her on the changing table and put her in a sleeper and picked her up and she VOMITED ALL OVER ME!  I'm done.  I have to leave."  I think I almost peed a little I was laughing so hard.

But I didn't let him leave.  I refused to let our 4-month old defeat my 30-year old husband.  But my God it was hilarious.